It's like the lyrics to the song that says, "He held my head to His chest and said, 'my son's come home again. He lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes and said 'Son, do you know I still love you?” I gave my life to the Lord and said, "If you save me now I will live my life for you." I recommitted my life to the Lord and He made me a new creation. In Him, with Him and for Him, I have a started a new life.
One night when I was in treatment, a woman came to me like an angel. She told me how AA helped her and it would help me, too. I went to 90 meetings in 90 days and began my journey on the path to recovery. AA led me to my Higher Power. His name is Jesus Christ. He led me to Heartland Vineyard Church in Waterloo, Iowa.
There I met people who accepted me for who I am now and not who I was before. There I learned how to forgive myself of my past hurts, hang-ups, and habits in Celebrate Recovery, a learning tool that helped me put my new life in place. I found on my knees in prayer what I had been looking for all my life. I learned that I had to call out for help. The first place I called out to was God. I learned that I needed to do this every morning on my knees – to ask for him to help me that day.
The second place I called for help was the Peer Assisted Spiritual Support (PASS) team. Those people knew how to listen. The Lord worked through them to keep me on the path to healing. Every day I continued to seek Jesus as my Lord.
PASS led me to a community group at the home of Mark and Tracy Cayton. We read the book, "Purpose Driven Life" and used to as a bible study. This book helps you find what God has planned for your life.
In one of the last chapters it says to lay it on the line and to ask God to tell you what His plan is for in your life. Here’s what I said to God out loud, "Lord I have been an addict and an alcoholic. I am divorced. I don’t have a college degree. I am female and way over 40 but I love to do laundry like hanging sheets and towels out on the line. I love to cook breakfast and I love to clean house. I never meet a stranger. I love to make people feel at home. How can you use me to advance your kingdom?"
The second I closed my eyes I heard a soft voice say, "Bed and Breakfast". I knew with all my heart that was God speaking to my heart. There was no doubt in me either. I knew. I knew it was Him. I felt the emptiness inside me leave at that very moment. I knew my purpose was to live for God and now I knew how to do it.
At a water baptism event at the park with church members, I met a lady who was looking for cleaning help at the hotel where she worked. As I walked away from setting up an interview with her, I giggled, smiled, and praised the Lord because he had blessed me with my first confirmation of the bed and breakfast. You guessed it! I got the job and everyday I would hear the Lord through my spirit ask “Bonnie, could you do this for me everyday?” I would say "Yes, Lord, here I am. Pick me! Pick me!"
Then one day my spirit was restless. I new I just wanted to go for a drive so I got in my car and just took off driving and found myself in Strawberry Point. I knew I was on my way to see the next confirmation of God's plan for my life.
You see, in the fall of 2003 I was helping a friend farm outside of Strawberry when we looked at a motel that was listed for sale. I really thought that after several months passed by that it would have sold, but as I pulled in the driveway that day I saw the 'For Sale' sign still there. I was so excited and I could feel God's love shine on me. It was the sunshine but it felt different today as I got out of the car. It was like when a kid gets her first bike and the parents’ face shows such pride knowing that they have just made their child happier than they have ever been before in their life. I felt God's love pour over me that day. I felt God smile.
The job at the hotel worked into full time. I learned every aspect of the hospitality industry. Then one day I was informed that I lost my job. I was let go. Fired. The slow season was coming and at $8.75 an hour, they didn’t know if they could afford to pay me. I stood on the promises of God and never stopped believing Him for all my needs to be met. The Lord laid it on my heart to tithe as a seed for my future and the bed and breakfast. Like when you want corn, you plant seed corn. You need more money, you plant money seeds. Tithing to me means you give to get and to grow. I thought, "Tithe on unemployment." Ok, God, I trust you. However hard this setback was to my self esteem I knew I was to learn to trust in the Lord with all my heart. It is one of the only places in the Bible where it says to test Him to tithe and trust Him to make it work.
I had no other option. I knew I could trust in Him who is faithful because God is good all the time. Now I’d have the time to attend the Christ Life Solution, another teaching and healing tool through church. I had the time. I needed to learn about how deep and wide and how high God loves is for us. As I claimed what God had led me to -- the bed and breakfast in Strawberry Point -- no one at church ever told me I was just dreaming. They never put it down or made fun of my vision they believed was right with me. Thank You, Lord, for my church family.
We prayed in agreement over God’s will for my life be done like it says in Matthew 18 vs. 19. This all happened from 2003 till early February 2005. Whenever I needed a good healthy dose of God's love and faith-building of my own (like when I would get discouraged) I would road trip to Strawberry Point.
I’m a child of God and He is my Papa so I would ask all the familiar questions like "When do I get there, Papa? How much more do I need to learn before it is mine? When will I be ours?" I would go to the Father like his child. I would sit in the parking lots of connecting businesses and pray over the bed and breakfast. I would pray for the family that lived there and for their calling as to where the Lord needed them next. I would walk around back of the building and lay my hands on the building and pray for everyone who would come and stay there. I knew that this was going to be a place for people to hear about what God had done for me – a place to tell others about the Good News of Jesus Christ.
I learned to pray for others and not always for what I wanted. I learned to tithe into other's ministries to build faith into having someone sometime tithe into my soon-to-be ministry. A friend at church told me about a station on television (without cable) where I could hear about Jesus as Lord. Thanks Cliff. God showed me His love every day. I found out that God's love is real and when He says things like, "Draw near to me and I will draw near to you," He means it.
Then in February 2005, I called the realtor. I had a funny feeling deep inside me. I used to think of that as being my conscience. Now I believe that it’s the Holy Spirit in me. The lady said that the Inn had been sold.
"Ok," I said, and hung up. I cried out to God, "This can’t be happening. I know you led me there." Then Faith came along and reminded me I needed to trust in the Lord and give the dream back to Him. I read that in "The Dream Giver" by Bruce Wilkinson. I wiped my tears away and said, "Lord if this was not from you, I didn’t want it anyway." I knew in my heart just like Abraham knew to trust the Lord for a sacrifice. I knew to trust The Lord.
He brought me this far. I had a glass covered cake plate as confirmation. (You’ll have to read my book some day to hear about that story). I stood on the promises of God like the one that says I could “do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Philippians 4 vs. 13) and the one about how our God gives you everything you need and how “With God all things are possible,” (Matthew 19 vs. 26) just to name a few.
I whimpered to the Lord for a few days, never left the house, but just prayed. I heard "Shhh, shhh, Bonnie. Be still and know that I am God.'" (Psalm 46 vs. 10). Then the phone rang. It was Randy the Realtor. "Bonnie," he said, "I would like to give your name to the person who bought the Inn. Is that ok?" I said, "Sure, but what's up?" Randy told me that the guy who bought the Inn really didn’t know why he bought it and didn’t really have plans for it. "I think you two should talk," he said. The next day Denny called and we made plans to meet in Cedar Rapids to visit. In a nut shell, Denny told me he had no plans and that if I wanted it I could have it. He asked if I really sure this is what I wanted and I said yes. It was what the Lord wanted also. This is how Aunt B’s Inn came to be. I got it by Faith and not by works. "And as for me and my House, we will serve the Lord." (Joshua 24 vs. 15) |
